Walkerhound

Tomorrow is Mothers Day and the family is having a full blown Thanksgiving dinner at the request of my sweet skinny mom.  Of all the things in the world.  Just days into this I have to face a brutal dinner.  Plus, if I even appear to be “dieting” to anyone in my family they get angry.   Got a health thing, can’t be fixed, and can kill your ass - almost got me last year, got over most of the damage, am running, and almost normal again.  Family and husband think I’m a moron for  running again.  So, I actually have to hide the desire to drop weight from them, which is why I come here .  Being “happy to be alive” is not all there is.  I am,  please don’t get me wrong.  Mom and husband are the worse of all.  I know they are scared but I just can’t stand being told ”you should be happy to be alive”.  What is wrong with wanting more? Everytime I hear “you should just be happy to be alive” I feel like a selfish self absorbed idiot. Anybody got any tricks on hiding the fact that you are dieting?  Would appreciate any suggestions - Thanks

Yesterday was the first night in a long, long time that I didn’t stuff myself with sugar before going to bed.  I was much more comfortable laying down without my usual bulging belly.  Lots of water loss and no swollen fingers this morning.  A night without heavy sugar seemed to help a lot with the night sweats.    I had a cup sugar free diet hot chocolate (50 calories) instead of my usual load-o-sugar.  It was sweet and took longer to drink than it takes to eat three pieces of cake. Not funny to even admit to eating three pieces of cake that fast is it?

 I noticed a weird thing.  My husband calls before his ride home from work and right after the call I was hungry!  Why would that be?  Gotta give that some thought.   

I’ll be going running soon and then walking the dogs in the woods.  Boy, if the food aspect of this thing was as easy as the exercise part I’d have it made.  I exercise my butt off and always have - still didn’t save me from getting to where I am today.  Matter of fact, I think the heavy amount of exercise I’ve always done gave me an excuse to just eat, and eat, and eat.  Lily, you are living proof that you have to eat right - I got fat running, walking, and lifting weights.  Gotta get this eating thing under control. 

Later … my feet and knees did not hurt as much today while running.  Find out if sugar makes you ache - heard somewhere it could. 

It’s been almost a year since I visited the site. - bloody stroke.  Walking woobly, balance issues, and dinged eyes led me to let myself off the weight control hook.  Now, months later I feel better and want/have to try getting rid of the original weight I wanted to lose plus the 10 additional boo hoo pounds that I gained. 

Where did I ever get the idea that gobs and gobs of cake, candy, pie, and icecream would actually make me feel better?  I feel so damn stupid.

No sugar Lily … no more. 
 

Food Log

Exercise Log